EXCLUSIVE: Leaked Footage from UC Regent Birthing Ceremony (GRAPHIC)

WAU has been leaked top-secret footage of a UC Regent Birthing Ceremony, which was carefully smuggled off of their deep space tuition investment “Nostromo.”

Workers involved in the operation faced grave risks; from becoming potential gestation hosts, to avoiding confrontation with the ravenous hatchling, and finally to discovery of the leaking operation by agents of UCPD and the Department of Homeland Security.

We are familiar with later stages of Regent maturation, such as the “Wall Street Bank Executive Phase,” but gestation and birthing have long been shrouded in mystery. No longer.

WAU researchers are already diligently at work analyzing the footage of the larval Regent for potential weaknesses. Preliminary work suggests that they may be afraid of fire.

Warning: the footage below is graphic.

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